HOW TO FIND YOUR SOULMATE

Many of us spend all our lives searching for the perfect partner. But it can be really easy to know how to find your soulmate if you understand these tips.
Use these ten tips and you’ll walk closer to your soulmate sooner with every passing day than you can imagine. And the happy journey to finding your soulmate [READ: SOULMATE] would be an experience of a lifetime too!.

1. BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE

Look into the mirror. Are you happy with what you see? If you do want to find your perfect soulmate, you need to take steps to be perfect too. It’s always easier to get the attention of soulmate potentials when you look your best and feel confident about it.

2. KISS A FEW FROGS

Life isn’t a movie, and unlike a movie shoot, you can’t have retakes when you find yourself in the company of someone who’s definitely not your soulmate. But that isn’t really a bad thing. It takes a bit of trying, testing, dating and falling in love to understand what you really need from a potential soulmate. Be prepared to kiss a few frogs and soon enough, you’re going to be standing in front of your true soulmate. But that’s only if you take chances in love.

3. LIVE YOUR PASSION

Do you like dancing or cooking? Live your passion if you want to know how to find your soulmate. When you participate in activities that you like with other people, you’re bound to meet a lot of people who share the same passion as you. If you do find someone you like when you’re living your passion, it’ll bring you a step closer to finding your soulmate.

4. TRY NEW EXPERIENCES

Are you having a hard time finding someone who excites you? Are you looking in all the right places? Are you even looking outside your own little world? Most of us like the comfort of our own little world. We don’t like to try new things or meet new people. But if you do want to find your soulmate, you need to step out into the big world and experience new things. If your friends invite you to a concert, wedding or a birthday party, don’t back out. Try new things, explore possibilities and live your life to the fullest. And almost always, you’d end up meeting the love of your life at a new experience, when you least expect it.
The best part of all this is that you don’t really need to put a hold on your life while searching for love. Instead, you can live your life to the fullest. Life has a great way of throwing happy surprises when you least expect it.

5. BE WILLING TO CHANGE YOUR MIND

You may be looking for your soulmate for a while now, and you may have your own list of requirements. But don’t ever use a list of pointers to pick your lover. Always be willing to compromise. As you grow and evolve as a person, your idea of the perfect soulmate would change too. Don’t ever be rigid when you’re looking for love. Just go with the flow and listen to what your heart tells you.

6. DON'T TURN DOWN OPPORTUNITIES

Is a good friend of yours trying to fix you up on a blind date? Don’t brush the thought away. Whether it’s about dating someone new or meeting a new group of friends, don’t turn down opportunities to interact. To understand how to find your soulmate, you need to keep your eyes open. Love is mysterious, and it’s completely unpredictable. And that’s what makes finding your soulmate so magical and exciting!

7. DON'T SETTLE UNLESS YOU'RE HAPPY

Compromise in love, but don’t bend over backwards trying to please your current partner. Love is about compromise, but it has to be both ways. If you fall in love with someone and don’t really feel excited about it or find that you’re trying too hard to make it work, step out of it and don’t look back. This may seem selfish, but true love should be effortless. Walk out and continue the search for your soulmate if you ever find that you’re not happy in a relationship. There’s a perfect partner who’s looking for you too, so why stay in an unhappy relationship when you can be blissfully happy when you do find the one.

8. DATE SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS YOU

When you’re searching for your soulmate, you may have to end up diving headfirst into a few relationships. If you’re lucky, you may find your soulmate the very first time you fall in love, or perhaps, it may take a few more times than that. Always date someone who can really understand you and your mind. You really don’t need to finish each other’s sentences as long as both of you can understand each other’s wants and desires.

9. CHEMISTRY AND EXCITEMENT

Now that you’re in the dating scene and waiting to find that special someone who you can call your soulmate, look out for chemistry and attraction. You may meet a great guy or a girl who may be perfect, but sometimes, love is a funny thing. It can bring two great people together, and yet, both of them may feel no excitement towards each other. Always look for chemistry and attraction in a relationship. Do you feel excited to be with the person you’re dating? If you can’t feel electricity surge through your spine when your date runs their hand on your back, or don’t feel blissfully weak after a first kiss, well, perhaps, you’re missing out on a bit of that all important chemistry that soulmates have.

10. UNDERSTAND THE TRUTH

You may search high and low for that perfect lover, but you have to understand this fact if you want to know how to find your soulmate.
Soulmates aren’t born, they’re made. Soulmates are created with love and compromises, and they’re given shape by two lovers who understand, respect and cherish each other. If you find yourselves falling more in love with each other with each passing day, and if either of you do your best in your own little ways to make each other feel better and more loved, you’re on your way to becoming soulmates.
But always remember this, you still need to walk through the first nine steps to really understand the truth.
After all, two incompatible people can never become soulmates. It requires more than love and attraction, it requires unconditional love and the will to compromise for each other’s happiness to truly become soulmates.
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SOULMATE

We spend several years trying to find that perfect partner who can fill our lives with happiness and love. Sometimes, we get lucky and meet the love of our lives at the very first real date. And at other times, it takes a bit of searching and prodding. But the truth is, there’s a soulmate for every one of us. And there’s a great chance that they’re right around the corner and looking for love too.

Understanding how to find your soulmate [READ: HOW TO FIND YOUR SOULMATE] isn’t as hard as many portray it to be. It really isn’t as hard as finding a needle in a haystack. As a matter of fact, it’s as simple as taking a walk in the park. Hopefully, a short walk!

You can sit back and wait for love to find you, and it may never really happen.
At times, it takes a bit of an adventure to meet the one who can take your breath away.
If you really do want to know how to find your soulmate, start taking chances in love.
The sooner you start to take an initiative to find that elusive soulmate, the sooner you’d find your knight or damsel.

“To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.”
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WAYS TO DEAL WITH A CHEATING MATE

Here are five effective ways to deal with a cheating mate and help rebuild a relationship:

1. APPROACH WITH CAUTION

Step carefully when first raising the issue of your partner’s infidelity. Don’t charge in, full of righteous indignation, throwing around accusations. Your partner will only become defensive, and you may destroy any opportunity to rebuild the relationship later down the road. Instead, ask questions like “I've noticed you've been distant lately, why is this?” If you seem concerned and interested rather than angry, he/she’ll be more likely to open up to you.

2. TALK IT OUT

Once you’ve opened the lines of communication, honesty is of the utmost importance. Carefully examine all aspects of your relationship. Was your cheating mate simply foolish, or was he/her mistake the result of serious problems in your relationship? [Read INFIDELITY IN RELATIONSHIPS] Perhaps you devoted too much of your attention to work and neglected your relationship. Honest communication will be tough and time-consuming, but it’s the only way to identify the problems between you. Instead of making him/her feel guilty, consider your own faults first. Is there anything you did to prompt his/her behavior? If you and your companion can discuss the flaws of your relationship, you have a good chance at correcting them. Small changes can go a long way!

3. PROBLEM SOLVE

Actions speak louder than words. It's one thing to have a long conversation about your troubled relationship, but if you're not ready to solve the problems, there’s no hope of fixing what’s wrong. If he/she says you didn't seem emotionally available, believe him/her. Make a special effort to tune into him/her more from now on. If he/she says you simply weren't around enough to satisfy his/her needs, then designate one day a week as a “date night” and go out to dinner or stay in with a movie and some popcorn, just the two of you. If you truly respond to his/her complaints and requests, it’s unlikely that she’ll feel the need to cheat again.

4. FORGIVE AND FORGET – IF YOU CAN

This is probably the most difficult step to rebuilding your relationship. You may be able to say that you understand why your partner cheated, but unless you can truly let go of her past, your relationship is doomed. It's possible the relationship isn’t salvageable – is he/she simply someone who can’t be trusted? If so, if you “forgive and forget” and it happens again, you feel like a fool. If, after talking out you problems, it turns out that you gave him/her no reason to cheat, it may be that his/her own personal issues led him/her to be unfaithful.

If that’s the case, then nothing you do or say will keep him/her in your arms and it's best to move on. But if you feel your relationship still has potential and you’re willing to do what It takes to make it work, then you’ll need to devote all of your compassion and understanding to empathizing with your partner or else there’ll always be a wall between the two of you.

5. KEEP COMMUNICATION OPEN

Now that you've had a good, long talk about why he/she cheated and discussed ways to solve the problems of your relationship, what can you do to keep your partnership intact? The answer’s simple – keep talking. If new problems, even small dissatisfactions, arise then speak up! And don’t fall victim to “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” thinking – running away from the relationship and into the arms of somebody new is not a solution. If you’re sorely tempted to be unfaithful yourself strictly out of pain or revenge, talk to your partner about it. You may be able to negotiate changes that will help the two of you rebuild your relationship, or you may find you want to seek counseling. Of course, you may end up choosing to separate – but any of these alternatives are better than infidelity.

If your worst fears are confirmed and he/she is cheating, don’t feel sorry for yourself and act like a victim. Relationships take two people to succeed or fail – it’s very likely that you made your share of mistakes, too. Nobody’s perfect. Weigh the potential of your relationship and decide if it’s worth the work involved in saving it. If so, keep these five steps in mind, and get to work. You may find that the two of you become closer than ever before as a result.
Good Luck!

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INFIDELITY IN RELATIONSHIPS

It’s only natural that, as relationships progress, we start to take each other for granted. You may feel resentful that your partner doesn’t pay you compliments the way he/she used to, and has taken to nagging you about every little thing, or just ignoring you most of the time. So if the situation changes, you suddenly notice that he/she is buying you gifts, easing up on the nagging and giving you a lot more of that “alone time” you’ve been craving, your first instinct may be relief. In reality, however, a sudden, drastic change in your partner’s behavior (even seemingly positive changes) may be a red flag that he/she is cheating on you. Like i said "MAY BE" not definite.

Infidelity can destroy any happy relationship [Read: WAYS TO DEAL WITH A CHEATING MATE], so if you’re getting signals that your spouse may be cheating, you should pay attention. It may turn out that your partner is as faithful as the sun, but if you get that sneaking feeling that things are almost too perfect, it's natural to be curious. If there’s been a noticeable shift in the dynamics of your relationship like if he/she spends less time with you, and asks you for less advice than she used to; it may be that he/she is going to someone else to have those needs met. 

If, after doing a little careful detective work, you discover that he/she is cheating on you, don’t immediately fly off the handle (to react in a very angry way to something someone says or does). It may be tempting to jump ship (quit) and give up on the relationship, that’s not a solution to the problem. It doesn’t change the fact that you love this man/woman and, perhaps, his/her infidelity is a symptom of problems in the relationship to which you contributed.

If you take time to examine why he/she strayed, you may find that you aren't the only victim in the relationship. Does he/she have physical emotional needs that you’ve been unable to meet? Has he/she tried to discuss his/her feelings with you, but you failed to consider his/her feelings? If so, it shouldn’t be entirely surprising that he/she found comfort with another. If there have been unresolved problems in your relationship that encouraged him/her to be unfaithful, you should seriously consider working with him/her to fix them, rather than walking out on him/her in a fit of anger and causing even more pain to you both. -->

SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

You can’t force yourself into a relationship and expect good things to come out of it.
Successful relationships need compatibility and chemistry, and the factors mentioned here.
Time may fly and the first few months of infatuation may blossom into mature love, but that’s no excuse to let the excitement fade away.
In a healthy relationship, the relationship may mature, but it still stays fresh and exciting all the time.
Want to know if you have a healthy relationship? These good relationship factors will show you the way.

1. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Have you ever gone out of your way to make your partner feel good, even if it means sacrificing something for yourself? When you’re in a good relationship, both partners go out of their way to make their lover feel good. Do you have that unconditional love in your relationship?
Lovers in good relationships are always happy. And as corny as it may sound, they feel happier when their partner’s feeling happy. Call them soul mates if you must, but in a good relationship, the happiness one experiences isn't just one sided.

2. RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER
True love isn't enough to hold a relationship together. In a good relationship, both partners must respect each other too. In your everyday life as a couple, you have to take a lot of decisions all the time. Do you make all the decisions when it comes to matters of the relationship, or does your partner do that? If you do respect each other, you’d give importance to each other’s opinions before making a decision. On the other hand, if you don’t really respect your lover, you may ask for an opinion but do what you feel is best anyways. It may work for a while, but eventually one partner will start to dominate the other psychologically and that can only lead to subdued open frustrations in the relationship.

3. HAPPY TO BE WITH YOUR PARTNER
In a good relationship, both partners are happy to be with each other. Good lovers complement each other and balance the relationship.
                     

4. BOTH ARGUE CONSTRUCTIVELY, IF EVER
Arguments are never bad, as long as it’s limited to a rare occasion. After all, an argument is only a sign of misunderstanding unless it results because of a bigger conflict like an affair.
In a good relationship, you may have differences or arguments, but it’s always constructive to the relationship. You voice your opinions and help your partner understand how you’re feeling and what you really want. By bring up a touchy subject and clearing the air, it helps bring both of you closer in the long run, just as long as the same mistakes don’t happen again.
And always remember this, irrespective of who started a fight, it’s the responsibility of both partners to end it as soon as possible.
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5. YOU'RE PREPARED TO WORK FOR IT
A healthy relationship requires a lot of work. If you’re passionate about your relationship and its happiness, of course, this won’t seem like work at all.
In a happy relationship, lovers constantly look for ways to keep love alive, be it through special surprise parties or thoughtful gifts. Just like your job, you need to see progress every day in love too, if you want to experience a better relationship. You can’t just sit back and wait for the good times to roll in love. You need to initiate it. Go away on romantic vacations and look for ways to create happy memories all the time, even if it means just watching a movie at home. [Read: GOOD RELATIONSHIP]
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GOOD RELATIONSHIP

Our lives revolve around love, be it with friends, family or lovers. We need love in our lives to feel better and live happier. Every time you get into a relationship, you wonder if you’re going to have a good relationship with your lover. But what is a good relationship really? [Read:SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP]

Simply put, a good relationship is a beautiful experience. It’s easy to find it but it’s even more easy to overlook it. You can spend all your life looking for true love and a good relationship, and you may never experience it even if it’s right in front of your eyes. After all, a good relationship requires the happy and willing effort of two lovers, and it blooms more with each passing day.
[Read: RELATIONSHIP]

A good relationship can’t just be found. It has to be created.
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WARNING: REMAIN SINGLE!

This is not meant to offend anyone. Someone else may find it helpful. Please read carefully and share it with others just like i've done. It doesn't matter if you are Married or Not.


The rate at which marriages collapse now is assuming a social status symbol in our society. In no-time, people will be throwing divorce parties & inviting friends & well wishers to celebrate their divorce anniversaries; they will choose aso-ebi (a Nigerian custom dress during wedding), hire a hall and popular musicians & what have you. Asking a question like "So when are u getting divorced?" will become common.

If you know you can't handle the weight & pressures of marriage, please remain single. If you don't know what marriage is all about, please remain single until you do. If you are getting married because of the things you desire or hope to gain from your partner, please remain single. If you know you can't be faithful, please remain single. If you can't endure insults from one another, please remain single. If you can't forgive each other, please remain single. If you can't place your spouse above every other human being, please remain single! [Read: BEING SINGLE]  Don't get married out of desperation. "All my friends are getting married" is the most foolish reason to get married! If you desire a successful home, but your choice of friends are forces not to reckon with, think again. Be very mindful of where you go for advices, Many would give, but not many mean well.

Guys, if u know u can't put your wife ahead of your ego, please remain single till you mature. Your wife is your priority and EVERYTHING else including you, comes last. You are the teacher, the guide, the bodyguard & the role model. You are not a deity or God, so do not expect to be worshiped. You need respect, earn it by being responsible!

Ladies, if you know you can't be submissive please don't go into marriage so you are not turned into a punch bag! If you know you can't stand being corrected Mr/Mrs ITK (I TOO KNOW), please remain single. Ladies check your domestic (like Cooking, e.t.c) score card, if your score is 0, please stay in your parents house and learn!
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HOW TO AVOID HEARTACHE.

Hurt and pain can come in many different forms, but those that come from a broken heart seem to hurt us the most. There can be deep disappointment when relationships don’t work out. Is it possible to date and not get hurt? Certainly. Is there anything you can do to help prevent heartbreak? YES, there are lots of things that you can do to help. However, you are never excluded from heartbreak if you give your heart to someone. The deeper the relationship, the greater the potential for pain or joy. You can avoid some heartache by following these steps.

1) EXPECTATIONS: Expectation is the root of all HEARTACHES. Most of us have expectations for the people in our lives & It HURTS to feel let down by someone important to you. Having some expectations is a good thing but getting too caught up in expectations is setting yourself up for disappointment. To avoid disappointment and heartache in almost any situation, examine and adjust your expectations. Consider having zero expectations from nobody. [Read:EXPECTATION LEADS TO HEARTACHE]

2) DON'T PRETEND: If you hate smokers don’t date them. Many people do this all the time. A person they are interested in has a habit that they find annoying but they will look pass that for the sake of love. Don’t waste time trying to deal with something that you don’t want to. Sooner or later those things that you hate they will eventually kill your relationship. Don't pretend to like something you don't.

3) BE YOURSELF: Why do you have to pretend you like football or opera when you don’t. Be who you are. If you keep lying about who you are, the other person is actually in love with someone that really doesn't exist. Get to know you so you can enjoy you. If you are honest about who you are, the person you are with, is with you, not a fantasy. Keep it real. Learn to be happy with yourself. If a person doesn't like who you are, it’s no big deal. Why pretend to please them. Besides, who wants to be with a pretender? It's up to you to answer that.

4) IF IT FEELS WRONG THEN IT IS: This is self explanatory. But I will elaborate. If you think he or she acts a little odd or crazy, you may want to take into account your own judgement. Trust your instincts and don’t let the lust monster take over. Beauty is only skin deep. A handsome or pretty face is just as deceptive as one you would call unattractive.

5) HAVE YOUR OWN LIFE: Any time you don’t have your own life, you are likely to consume the life of another. This is important. If you had a life when you met them, keep it. You want to share your life with your mate, not engulf theirs. Women are notorious for becoming one literally in their relationships. Some women want to be a part of everything their husband or boyfriend does. Ladies, he has skin, he doesn't need another. Don’t lose yourself in your relationship. Because if you do, I promise he will lose you; but quick.
[Read: TO THE BROKEN-HEARTED]

6) LEAVE MARRIED FOLKS WITH THEIR SPOUSES: Messing around with married people is a sure Best way to get your heart broken. Married people rarely ever leave their spouses. If they do, what makes you think you won’t be cheated on? You play with fire when you mess with married people because they have too much to lose. Don’t be an interloper!
It's just common sense. Many of us don’t see the above things because we have allowed Love to blind us and we break every rule when it comes to relationships. Be happy and learn something new everyday, Because when we stop learning and loving, we stop living.
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INDEPENDENT WOMAN

Today is the 53rd Anniversary of Nigeria's Independence! Happy Independence my Green Country! I will use today as a medium to write about INDEPENDENT WOMAN!

A woman who knows what she feels, says what she really believes, and lives true to her own values is an Independent Woman. She owns her own power and looks out for herself. She is independent at all levels, she can make her own money and follow her own path.

Do you remember the above lyrics by DESTINY'S CHILD (Independent women)? If you do, that's just a tip of the iceberg! One may ask, how do i become independent?

HOW TO BE AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN.

1. DO THINGS ON YOUR OWN: Being able to do things on your own will help you be more self-effective and give you the confidence that you can make things happen for yourself. If you don't know how to do something, make it a priority to find out how. Lots of women can't because in most cases, they haven't seen their mothers do it. Understand that you need to consciously learn things that don't come naturally. Get books, ask someone & take one small action today.

2. BE HONEST IN RELATIONSHIPS: Women are not willing to state the truth if it upsets someone else. They pretend to be what they are not so that they will be liked by their friends. All this takes so much energy and depletes who they are. What's the point of a relationship or a friendship where you can't be who you are, where you feel uncomfortable saying what you really think? To get really honest, you may need to change from not confronting things to looking reality in the face. Start saying what you think. Start stating what you need. Your relationships should support you, not drain you.

3. WORK ON FINDING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP: What's stopping you from finding a great relationship? Is it that you feel you are not good enough so you always choose to be with men that reinforce that belief? Or you don't give people a chance and are fixed in your ideas about what kind of person you'll be happy with. Get honest with yourself about why you don't have the kind of relationship you really want. We all know, at least at some level, what the real problem is. Sometimes it may seem like a lot of work to fix that problem. For example: How do you change a deep belief that you are really not that lovable, you don't really deserve the best? You 'll probably need to work on this by Loving yourself. you may choose to get therapy, do things that increase your self-esteem, do a lot of soul-searching through journaling. All of this takes work and energy and commitment. But unless you do this, you won't get okay with yourself. And you won't really have a self to share with someone else.

You can Expand your social circle because different people will appeal to different parts of you. Do new things, learn a sport, take up cooking. Ask for help when you need it from a friend, family, or a therapist. Educate yourself on money, Go to seminars, buy books like "Rich Dad, Poor Dad. All this will help you develop an Independent attitude!"
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MY TOP TWO THINGS THAT LEAD TO BREAK-UP!

1. YOUR EX: When your EX still keeps in touch with you constantly or you talking about your EX alot in your pesent relationship, it implies you don't want to move on and forget about your previous relationship. You are passing an indirect message to your partner that "you are still holding on to your EX." As a result of this attitude, your partner won't be committed in the relationship and the next step will be BREAKING UP! I'm not saying you shuold be enemies with your EX, but you and your EX should not be obsess about each other!

2. CONFLICT: I believe we all know what is conflict. Conflict is a serious disagreement or argument. Little disagreement can lead to Break up, but please take out the "dis" & focus on "agreement." Be ready to work things out and remember, Couples disagree to agree. There should be Conflict Resolution if you truly want your relationship to workout!

[Read: LITTLE THINGS THAT LEAD TO BREAK-UP]
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LITTLE THINGS THAT LEAD TO BREAK-UP PT. 2

..............Continuation from PT. 1
[Read: LITTLE THINGS THAT LEAD TO BREAK-UP 1]

6. FLIRTING: Flirting might be fun, and might seem not strong enough to dissolve a relationship. the truth is, it can if your partner doesn't find it funny!

7. TOO DEMANDING: You want this, you want that, you want all...take a chill pill please, relax and be easy on your partner because he/she would definitely get tired of you someday.

8. UNGENEROUS: As a guy if you are the stingy type, and have never cared about your Girlfriend's finance, neither have you bought her any gifts, then i feel sorry for you. NOTE: when i said gifts, i did not mean a house or a car please. This is meant fo the working class and not for lovers still searching for daily breads to make ends meet.

9. ARROGANCE: When you are too arrogant, too violent, too pushy, too insultive, always engaging in one fight or the other, your relationship won't stand the test of time. This is a big turn-off!
[Read: MY TOP TWO THINGS THAT LEAD TO BREAK-UP!]

10. DISRESPECT: We all know the saying "respect is reciprocal." When you disrespect your partner not once but often, you will just hasten the break-up of your relationship. Respect your partner's decision always. This works both ways!
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LITTLE THINGS THAT LEAD TO BREAK-UP PT. 1

There are a few things that we over look or don't take note or ignore in our various relationships which can terminate your relationship. See The Little Things That Leads To Break-up In Relationships.

1. LOVING THE PERSON TOO MUCH/CHOKING YOUR PARTNER WITH LOVE: No matter how in-love you both might be, the moment one is choking the other with too much love, it fizzles out the love of the other partner leading his/her love to depreciate. Try to always make it balance or else you just might scare your partner away.
[Read: MY TOP TWO THINGS THAT LEAD TO BREAK-UP!]

2. DESPERATION: When you show signs of desperation in your relationship, like trying to trap the person to yourself through pregnancy or marriage, it scares the hell out of most people, especially if your partner is not ready to be hooked up or where the relationship is still at it's early stage. Don't talk about marriage except if you are both desperate about it.

3. IMMATURITY: No girl wants a kid as a boyfriend or someone who talks and does things like a kid! No no no no... she will definitely dump you! (vice versa)
4. MODE OF DRESSING: If your mode of dressing is really horrible, please do something about it fast! No girl wants her man to look like a mad man. Dress like a gentleman. (vice versa)

5. HYGIENE: Long/Dirty finger nails and toes also leads to break-ups in relationships. Bad breaths, body odour also terminates a relationship.
[Read: LITTLE THINGS THAT LEAD TO BREAK-UP 2]
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FRIENDZONED: EXTRA TIPS FOR ESCAPE!

Are you still FRIEND ZONED? [Read: FRIEND ZONE] If you are, here are few extra-cool tips to aid your escape.

1. Do not obsess over your friend. This will come across as creepy and possibly ruin your chances of ever escaping the "dreaded friend zone".

2. Don't ever try to get them to break up with a boyfriend/girlfriend. That makes you look desperate, it makes him/her feel embarrassed, it probably freaks them out and makes you look like a stalker. It's a bad idea.

3. If you decide to let go of someone who doesn't return your affection, you might find that suddenly they're attracted to you. Be careful, then. This might tell you that they love the "thrill of the chase". If you find they lose interest when you become interested again, you've got a cat-and-mouse game on your hands, not the recipe for a healthy relationship.

4. Don't give relationship advice to your friend (whom you have interest), they will eventually just see you as "one of the nice guys/girls" always there to give advice, which will throw you deeper into the friend zone!

5. Making time for them even when you don't have any may help the person realize that you are always there for them, but don't make it obvious that you like them, as it may repulse them and end the friendship.

6. Just go for it. When the time is right you should spill your guts to them and not beat around the bush. They are your friend and trying to be sneaky about it like you have been is a big red flag. So just tell them casually and see how they feel and act accordingly. There is boy friend and then there is boyfriend...that tiny little space between "boy friend" is known as the friend zone. Don't get it twisted.

Good Luck cos you need it!
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ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE PART C

.........Continuation from PART B. [Read:PART B]

#5. Realize that you're "tying up" your feelings by staying friends with someone who isn't romantically interested in you. In the instance where you've already followed the previous steps and you've left your pushover habits behind, you've stepped up to the role that he or she is looking for in a relationship, and you've crossed the touch barrier, but this person still wants to be "just friends", you'll need to make some hard decisions. Maybe they're simply not attracted to you, for reasons you'll never know. But you still have feelings for them. Is it wise to continue spending time with them? [Read: EXTRA TIPS TO ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE]

Consider that it'll be difficult to develop feelings for someone else if your feelings for this person are fueled every time you hang out. You'll struggle with feelings of jealousy and frustration when that person dates. Consider that even if you do manage to develop feelings for someone else, your heart might always be torn and confused, and it'll be hard to give your new flame your undivided affection.Sometimes, the best thing to do is to take the friendship down to the level of acquaintance. The person might feel offended, perhaps it will seem as if you don't value them as just a friend, but remember (explain to them if necessary) that you can't control how you feel, just like they can't control how they feel, and you need to make room in your life and heart for someone who feels about you the way you feel about them.
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ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE PART B

........Continuation from PART A. [Read: PART A]

#3. Think about the difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship: If you think a romantic relationship should just be a great friendship with physical intimacy thrown into the mix, then it's understandable to look for common ground first, and wait for the physical attraction to kick in sooner or later. But not everyone sees relationships this way. Some people expect a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" to play a particular role in their lives in order for physical attraction to emerge. The person who you want to be more than friends with probably makes a bigger distinction between "friend" and "romantic partner" than you do. Realize that many people (both male and female) expect to be courted in some way and many psychological issues play out in the relationship zone that don't ever arise in friendships zone.Some people, for example, look for a romantic partner who can play more of a parental role than a friend would.

Figure out what the person wants in a boyfriend or girlfriend relationship, then decide whether you want to be that for them. Note that some people are attracted to toxic relationships. If the person you're interested in keeps getting involved with people who treat them badly, despite your advice, you might just have to accept that they're working through some issues. You could spend your entire life waiting for them to "see the light" or you could move on and find someone who actually (through their actions, not their words) wants a healthy relationship.

#4. Break the touch barrier: For many people, a big distinction between "friendship" and "relationship" is the way they touch. There are platonic ways to touch someone, and romantic ways, and the boundary is different for different people. But if you're terrified of touching someone the wrong way, to the extent that you hesitate and never touch them first, your intentions may be good but your "touch paralysis" isn't helping you at all in the romantic department. Take a few little "touch risks". Reach for their hands, hair, shoulders, ankles, and back. Don't just always wait for them to do it first. If they don't like it, they'll definitely let you know.

Touching someone communicates to them that you find them attractive, and also that you're reasonably confident. Both of these things can make someone feel more attracted to you.Note that some people are very affectionate with their friends; the person you're interested in might be all about cuddling with you, and think nothing more of it than friendliness, while you feel like you're getting mixed signals. At some point the person you are interested in needs to give out or give in.
To be continued in PART C.....[Read: PART C]
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HOW TO ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE?

I know there are many out there who wish to get out of the FRIEND ZONE. I received an email from a reader asking me how to escape the FRIEND ZONE, which i will be posting in three parts. Below is PART A.[Read: FRIEND ZONE]

#1. Break the "nice guy" or "sweet girl" stereotype: Most guys and girls who find themselves in the "friend zone" put themselves there by not communicating their own needs. Where you're romantically attracted to someone, but you don't want to "pressure" them into a relationship, or "ruin" the friendship by expressing your interest or making a move, you'll end up heartbroken. The problem is, when you make other people's feelings more important than your own (instead of finding that happy balance), you're unconsciously communicating to people that your own feelings don't matter. This may make it seem like you have low self-esteem, which is the opposite of confidence.

#2. Stop being needy: One of the reasons you might be interested in this person more than they're into you is because you are giving off signals that you really want to be in a relationship! You might be coming off as a little desperate, which is quite the attraction killer. You might be rushing things emotionally and maybe physically.You might also be placing this person on a pedestal, because you're so caught up in the idea of the relationship, that you're quick to assume this person is "perfect". Examine your own neediness. In one word, relax. There will always be many more encounters besides this one, so stop treating it like the last one you'll ever have. Also, don't force yourself to reveal your hopes for intimacy, let your actions display your confidence. Your behaviour should speak for itself. [Read: HOW TO ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE PART B]

To be continued in PART B.....
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FRIEND ZONE

Finally the day has come! What is FRIEND ZONE?

*The "FRIEND ZONE" refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not.

*When a member of the opposite sex (usually one you want to hook up with) declares you to be "JUST A FRIEND", thereby ruining all potential chances of having a relationship. [Read: HOW TO ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE]

When someone is in the friend zone it means they are "JUST FRIENDS" and thus undateable. When a guy likes a girl but she only sees him as a "NICE GUY", a "FRIEND" and is not attracted in him for dating, he's almost like a brother and it would be gross to date a brother, He's in the "FRIEND ZONE."

The Female folks need to understand, "Friendship is the starting step for what we call Love." Relationship begins with "CAN WE BE FRIENDS" and sometimes it also ends with "LETS JUST BE FRIENDS," and also begins with having a first Date (get to know the stranger). [Read: EXTRA TIPS TO ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE]

Proposing to a Boy or a Girl for Friendship is nothing but indirectly saying, "I LOVE U." If one can become your Best Friend, then He or She can easily become your Life Partner! (you know each other better than a stranger you just met), which reminds me of this lyrics "IF I EVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN, I WILL BE SURE THAT THE LADY IS A FRIEND" by +SHAI. Always have it in mind that "A Boy & a Girl can never be Friends forever." When a lady gets married, her friends (Guys) won't be close anymore before her husband gets suspicious/jealous. It goes both ways, vice versa.
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RELATIONSHIP

Relationship has different concepts. The concept of Friends, Families, Boyfriends and Girlfriends e.t.c. Here i'll be talking about Boyfriend/Girlfriend Relationship. When you are in a serious relationship, you will have your ups and downs. But talking things over is a better solution than throwing it away.
[Read: GOOD RELATIONSHIP]

Never give up on that patient, caring Lover of yours because of minor disagreements that can be sorted out and always bear it in your mind that people disagree to agree and there’s no Mr. and Miss PERFECT on earth. We are the ones to make our IMPERFECT partners to be PERFECT to us (Loving the imperfect perfectly). Always think about this prior to you let go of someone who has been your everything.

The above applies to married couples too
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HAPPY NEW MONTH

The new month has just started; we should realize this fact that how fast life is passing, we have short time and a lot to do for success, so always spread love and work like a last day of life, always look forward towards your future. Fill your eyes and heart with motivation, Push yourself and boosts your capabilities to achieve what you want, patience is the key to all doors of success, Patience teaches us the art of hard work, We should do this practice, so we can find the real concept of success and happiness.

May this new month be more successful, I wish this month brings more inspiration and love in your life, HAPPY NEW MONTH.

P.S>> Today is my Birthday! Join me as i celeberate with Love! I wish All who share same Birth Month as i, DOUBLE PORTION BLESSINGS, Long Life & More Years!
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BEING SINGLE

Sometimes it's better to be alone for a while but not forever. It's better to be alone than being with someone who makes you feel alone, someone who doesn't return your LOVE, someone who doesn't appreciate your effort, someone who takes you for granted, someone who sees no value in your CARE, someone who doesn't love you for who you are, someone who doesn't spare time for you, someone who always makes you cry, someone who always accuses you for being wrong.
[Read: WARNING: REMAIN SINGLE!]

If you are in a relationship with such a person, think of letting go no matter how painful it may be. Such people only care about their heart desires but they don't care about how you feel, what you need and what makes you happy. Be strong and move on, that person was not meant to be the Love of your life trust me. He/she is a time waster in your life. That person’s happiness is when you fulfill what he/she wants but for them they will never mind about your heart pain. Think about it!
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WORDS FOR THE LADIES TO CHEW ON

Some ladies have lost their thinking caps. Some found it but unable to use it. Must you clock "35" before you stop partying here & there? You already know all the Eateries and Hotels in town! You even know the tastes of their various ice-creams, pepper-soups, shawarma, etc. And you can tell the prices of their beers and wines off hand.

Funny, you're singing “NO MAN IS RESPONSIBLE”. Which responsible man drinks to stupour and clubs every weekend? Which responsible man samples you and your slutty friends randomly? Which responsible man sags with dog's chains on his neck and tattoos on his body? Ask yourself; “Is the guy I'm currently dating my dream man?”

Dear sister's, If you are living your life as above, my dear, you are living a MIRAGE Life! Be real! Humble yourself so that you will be raised. The so called "RESPONSIBLE MEN" you are searching for are not in the clubs and hotels. you won't find them at the weekly birthday bashes, weekend beach crashings or pool-side jamborees loitering around women of easy virtues, drunkards and men of questionable characters.

They are busy; in the Universities, Polytechnics and Colleges studying hard for the life after school, and in the offices, workshops, and on business trips striving hard to make life better for their families and better than they've met it. Use that brain Sweet Sisters! It's for thinking!
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SIGNS THAT YOU ARE FALLING IN LOVE

As long we are human, there are certain things we do because we do have feelings and emotions & we often don't know why we do these things. If you find yourself doing any of the things below, you are FALLING IN LOVE!

* You can’t stay mad at him/her for more than a minute or two. You actually have to try hard to be mad.

* You’ll read his/her messages over and over again.

* You’ll walk really really slow when you are with him/her. You don't want the walk to end.

* You’ll feel shy when ever you are with him/her.

* While thinking about him/her, your heart will beat faster and faster.

* By listening to his/her voice, You’ll smile for no reason.

* While looking at him/her you can’t see the other people around you, you can only see that person.

* You’ll start listening to slow songs, RnB or Jazz.

* He/she becomes all you think about.

* You’ll get high by just their smell.

* You’ll realize that you are always smiling to yourself when you think of him/her.

* You’ll do anything for him/her.

* While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time. You're definitely IN LOVE with him/her.
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THE JOURNEY OF LOVE

Someone comes into your life, befriends you, he/she starts being so special to you. That person becomes so close to you, he/she starts to mean everything to you. you start to miss that person, and you then realize that your life can't go on without him/her. you start missing food and sleep! Your life totally changes. That person promises you heaven on earth and he/she keeps on telling you that he/she is different from the ones you have ever had.

Your heart gets softened till you surrender it to that special person you call heaven sent. Everything goes on well, you share good moments, but suddenly, he/she starts to change after getting what they wanted, he/she reduces on the texts and calls. they start to build up many excuses, that sweet heart of yours starts becoming too busy for you. You start to cry, plead and ask for forgiveness but all in vain till you are dumped and they move on.

You get HEART-BROKEN & swear never to fall in love again. You start hating love, saying that all men and women are the same base on what that heartless "EX" did to you, you become distrustful to everyone. You live a single life but after sometime you start admiring your happy friends in love, loneliness squeezes you then you decide to give LOVE a second chance. Another handsome dude or lady comes into your life, you start to think that he or she is heaven sent but still you go through the same experience again.

Friends that’s the journey of LOVE! No one who can escape it. So if you have someone who is treating you like a KING or a QUEEN, truly and faithfully love that person because true love is hard to find. Do whatever it takes for both of you to last longer. Don’t easily dump that person because of minor disagreements. Call or text that person, meet him /her and apologize. Value that person’s effort and everything he/she sacrifices for you. Don’t take that person’s love for granted because someone out there yearns for that person’s love and care. They long to replace you one day.

Think about it, especially YOU reading this.
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WHAT TO EXPECT FROM ME!

Good Morning/Day/Night (depends on your location) my Awesome and Lovely Blog readers, i know most of my readers will b asking "why they haven't seen a post that affects or concerns their life?"

I'm here today to answer that. I wanted to take it step by step, touch each aspect that revolves around LOVE & RELATIONSHIP, but that will take time before i will reach out to most readers. so i have decided to touch each aspect randomly.

Readers should expect a post on "FRIEND ZONE" [Read: FRIEND ZONE]
-How to get out of friend zone, [Read: HOW TO ESCAPE THE FRIEND ZONE]
"PLAYER" (Heart Break Kid)- i will expose a little secret that will burn their cables (a Nigerian slang).
Reasons why people make the wrong choice.
Questions to ask when you are on a Date.
How to tell if you are in LOVE.
Define your relationship and many more.....

Readers put on your sit belt and brace yourself for the IMPACT!
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THINGS LADIES SHOULD NOT BE THE FIRST TO SAY TO A MAN. PART - B

Continuation of Part - A [Read:PART - A]

1. Whether you have just started going out with a guy or you have dated for some time, do not press him with the question as to where your relationship is going. If the relationship is promising, you will simply know this from his actions.

2. If you have something you would like to discuss with him, bring it up casually at an appropriate time. When you tell him that you would like to have a talk, he will automatically become defensive as he does not expect the conversation to be enjoyable. You just need to choose your time well.

3. However much he has hurt you, going around stating how you have him won't solve the issue. In fact, when you maintain your cool even during a breakup, you will win his admiration. But throwing temper tantrums will only push him further away from you.

4. In case you suspect that he has been up to no good, telling him that you don't trust him won't make him change. Instead, he will just get more careful, and you won't be able to get the much needed evidence.
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THINGS LADIES SHOULD NOT BE THE FIRST TO SAY TO A MAN. PART - A

There are a number of things that you should never tell a man if you would like to have a good dating relationship with him. Let us take a look at them so that you can avoid them.

1. Being the first to say "I love you.": You may say this as a way of making him say that he loves you too, but you should not try to push him to say something he is not yet prepared for or something he doesn't mean from his heart. You will remain in an awkward position when he does not do it.

2. If he promised to call but didn't, don't confront him and ask why he did not call. You will be basically be accusing him of not caring for you, and it is more likely that you will make him turn defensive.

3. When you go out on a date, do not press him to tell you when you should expect to see him once more. If he is really interested, he will get in touch. On the other hand, if he has no interest, then you should not keep your life on hold for him. [Read:SIGNS HE'S NOT JUST INTO YOU]

4. In case he does not keep his promise to see you, you should not ask him where he had been. The hidden question is really whether he was out with another girl, which will just show your fear and insecurity.

5. In case he had gone out with another woman, you will simply put both of you in an uncomfortable position when you ask him whether he went to bed with her. Even if he did( which is very wrong & that amounts to cheating), he is not doing it now. [Read:PART - B]
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TO THE BROKEN-HEARTED

I dedicate this to all the broken-hearted people out there. STOP CRYING OVER SOMEONE WHO PLAYED WITH YOUR DELICATE HEART. Cease drowning your heart in more pain. Your heartless EX is obviously happier without you now. You don’t need to try over calling and texting him/her anymore. Why crying over someone who played with your heart, body and wasted your time. No matter your cry, tears won’t bring that person back to your life. Come on dry your precious eyes because everything will be okay. He/she left, and without a word or without a sensible reason but life goes on. Your EX left you to give room for other serious people to treat you better. He/she left you with bittersweet memories but he/she gave you experience. Breathe and let go. Trying to talk to him or her, trying to figure out where you went wrong and wasting even more time to check up on your EX won’t do you good.

Try as much as you can and let go. Though it hurts now and it will still hurt later, but stay strong and stay positive. Don’t quickly rush into a new relationship, first give yourself time, love yourself more than before and always get down on your knees and pray to God to help you find a new genuine person who will love you the way you are. Don’t lose hope, don’t hate yourself. You are so beautiful and handsome, Just know that there are many people out there heartbroken and lonely like you. They are also looking for you and they are praying to meet you one day one time. Don’t lose hope my dear friends, someone will come into your life and will erase all those past hurting memories. Someone will see value in you, someone will give you endless happiness, someone will make a family with you and someone will show you the true meaning of LOVE. Trust me you will be fine. The best is yet to come and its not far from YOU!
Hold on
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DON'T EVER RUSH INTO FALLING IN LOVE

Just like the title of this post says Don't ever rush into falling in love, for love never runs out. Even if they mock you because you are single, Its better to be single than to be in a relationship of SORROW. Just tell them that "God is busy writing the best love story that will sweep me off my feet!" If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, let it go. be gentle on yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just did not choose to rest in the other person's heart. Let it go, there's a reason and a meaning you will know in time.... Always remember that sometimes we have to ignore how we FEEL and realize what we DESERVE!
[Read: THE JOURNEY OF LOVE]

True love isn't something that is forced. It is something that just happens. [Read: TRUE LOVE] Many people are so hungry for love that they choose to bite the first type of love that they may see even if it's toxic, don't be a fool for love. Choose your love wisely. If you decide to sell your love for a pack of Mr. Biggs meal or Mc Donald's Burger chips, Don't blame anyone in the future. Remember it's not about being what everyone wants you to be, It's about being yourself and finding someone who truly loves you for who you are . Remember it is not how you feel now that is really important, It’s your state of happiness in the future. Food for thought.... THINK ABOUT IT. Sunday Wishes!
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LOVE

Let me Start with the word "LOVE".

What's LOVE?

There are so many interpretations and meanings of LOVE which i believe you all know in your own various ways. Some will say it's that feeling which they can't explain. which is so true and is acceptable. I say LOVE is when someone breaks your heart and the most amazing thing is that you still LOVE them with every broken piece. We as humans tends to mistake LOVE for other feelings which are great too at the initial time but of short duration & won't last the test of time. These feelings are affection, infatuation, devotion and fondness.
[Read: SIGNS THAT YOU ARE FALLING IN LOVE]

What's Affection?

Affection is a less ardent or passionate and more unvarying feeling of tender regard. Example: Parental affection.

What's Infatuation?

Infatuation is foolish or extravagant attraction, often of short duration. Example: Lovers blinded to their differences by their mutual infatuation.
[Read: DON'T EVER RUSH INTO FALLING IN LOVE]

What's Devotion?

Devotion is earnest, affectionate dedication and implies selflessness. Example: Teachers admired for their devotion to children.

What's Fondness?

Fondness is strong liking or affection. Example: A fondness for small animals. From The above & below you can check yourself deep down and know what you have been feeling.

LOVE happens automatically. Manual working of it is called flirting. Flirting is like a game of chess, one wrong move and you are married.
[Read: THE JOURNEY OF LOVE]
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