INFIDELITY IN RELATIONSHIPS

It’s only natural that, as relationships progress, we start to take each other for granted. You may feel resentful that your partner doesn’t pay you compliments the way he/she used to, and has taken to nagging you about every little thing, or just ignoring you most of the time. So if the situation changes, you suddenly notice that he/she is buying you gifts, easing up on the nagging and giving you a lot more of that “alone time” you’ve been craving, your first instinct may be relief. In reality, however, a sudden, drastic change in your partner’s behavior (even seemingly positive changes) may be a red flag that he/she is cheating on you. Like i said "MAY BE" not definite.

Infidelity can destroy any happy relationship [Read: WAYS TO DEAL WITH A CHEATING MATE], so if you’re getting signals that your spouse may be cheating, you should pay attention. It may turn out that your partner is as faithful as the sun, but if you get that sneaking feeling that things are almost too perfect, it's natural to be curious. If there’s been a noticeable shift in the dynamics of your relationship like if he/she spends less time with you, and asks you for less advice than she used to; it may be that he/she is going to someone else to have those needs met. 

If, after doing a little careful detective work, you discover that he/she is cheating on you, don’t immediately fly off the handle (to react in a very angry way to something someone says or does). It may be tempting to jump ship (quit) and give up on the relationship, that’s not a solution to the problem. It doesn’t change the fact that you love this man/woman and, perhaps, his/her infidelity is a symptom of problems in the relationship to which you contributed.

If you take time to examine why he/she strayed, you may find that you aren't the only victim in the relationship. Does he/she have physical emotional needs that you’ve been unable to meet? Has he/she tried to discuss his/her feelings with you, but you failed to consider his/her feelings? If so, it shouldn’t be entirely surprising that he/she found comfort with another. If there have been unresolved problems in your relationship that encouraged him/her to be unfaithful, you should seriously consider working with him/her to fix them, rather than walking out on him/her in a fit of anger and causing even more pain to you both. -->

SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

You can’t force yourself into a relationship and expect good things to come out of it.
Successful relationships need compatibility and chemistry, and the factors mentioned here.
Time may fly and the first few months of infatuation may blossom into mature love, but that’s no excuse to let the excitement fade away.
In a healthy relationship, the relationship may mature, but it still stays fresh and exciting all the time.
Want to know if you have a healthy relationship? These good relationship factors will show you the way.

1. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Have you ever gone out of your way to make your partner feel good, even if it means sacrificing something for yourself? When you’re in a good relationship, both partners go out of their way to make their lover feel good. Do you have that unconditional love in your relationship?
Lovers in good relationships are always happy. And as corny as it may sound, they feel happier when their partner’s feeling happy. Call them soul mates if you must, but in a good relationship, the happiness one experiences isn't just one sided.

2. RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER
True love isn't enough to hold a relationship together. In a good relationship, both partners must respect each other too. In your everyday life as a couple, you have to take a lot of decisions all the time. Do you make all the decisions when it comes to matters of the relationship, or does your partner do that? If you do respect each other, you’d give importance to each other’s opinions before making a decision. On the other hand, if you don’t really respect your lover, you may ask for an opinion but do what you feel is best anyways. It may work for a while, but eventually one partner will start to dominate the other psychologically and that can only lead to subdued open frustrations in the relationship.

3. HAPPY TO BE WITH YOUR PARTNER
In a good relationship, both partners are happy to be with each other. Good lovers complement each other and balance the relationship.
                     

4. BOTH ARGUE CONSTRUCTIVELY, IF EVER
Arguments are never bad, as long as it’s limited to a rare occasion. After all, an argument is only a sign of misunderstanding unless it results because of a bigger conflict like an affair.
In a good relationship, you may have differences or arguments, but it’s always constructive to the relationship. You voice your opinions and help your partner understand how you’re feeling and what you really want. By bring up a touchy subject and clearing the air, it helps bring both of you closer in the long run, just as long as the same mistakes don’t happen again.
And always remember this, irrespective of who started a fight, it’s the responsibility of both partners to end it as soon as possible.
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5. YOU'RE PREPARED TO WORK FOR IT
A healthy relationship requires a lot of work. If you’re passionate about your relationship and its happiness, of course, this won’t seem like work at all.
In a happy relationship, lovers constantly look for ways to keep love alive, be it through special surprise parties or thoughtful gifts. Just like your job, you need to see progress every day in love too, if you want to experience a better relationship. You can’t just sit back and wait for the good times to roll in love. You need to initiate it. Go away on romantic vacations and look for ways to create happy memories all the time, even if it means just watching a movie at home. [Read: GOOD RELATIONSHIP]
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GOOD RELATIONSHIP

Our lives revolve around love, be it with friends, family or lovers. We need love in our lives to feel better and live happier. Every time you get into a relationship, you wonder if you’re going to have a good relationship with your lover. But what is a good relationship really? [Read:SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP]

Simply put, a good relationship is a beautiful experience. It’s easy to find it but it’s even more easy to overlook it. You can spend all your life looking for true love and a good relationship, and you may never experience it even if it’s right in front of your eyes. After all, a good relationship requires the happy and willing effort of two lovers, and it blooms more with each passing day.
[Read: RELATIONSHIP]

A good relationship can’t just be found. It has to be created.
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WARNING: REMAIN SINGLE!

This is not meant to offend anyone. Someone else may find it helpful. Please read carefully and share it with others just like i've done. It doesn't matter if you are Married or Not.


The rate at which marriages collapse now is assuming a social status symbol in our society. In no-time, people will be throwing divorce parties & inviting friends & well wishers to celebrate their divorce anniversaries; they will choose aso-ebi (a Nigerian custom dress during wedding), hire a hall and popular musicians & what have you. Asking a question like "So when are u getting divorced?" will become common.

If you know you can't handle the weight & pressures of marriage, please remain single. If you don't know what marriage is all about, please remain single until you do. If you are getting married because of the things you desire or hope to gain from your partner, please remain single. If you know you can't be faithful, please remain single. If you can't endure insults from one another, please remain single. If you can't forgive each other, please remain single. If you can't place your spouse above every other human being, please remain single! [Read: BEING SINGLE]  Don't get married out of desperation. "All my friends are getting married" is the most foolish reason to get married! If you desire a successful home, but your choice of friends are forces not to reckon with, think again. Be very mindful of where you go for advices, Many would give, but not many mean well.

Guys, if u know u can't put your wife ahead of your ego, please remain single till you mature. Your wife is your priority and EVERYTHING else including you, comes last. You are the teacher, the guide, the bodyguard & the role model. You are not a deity or God, so do not expect to be worshiped. You need respect, earn it by being responsible!

Ladies, if you know you can't be submissive please don't go into marriage so you are not turned into a punch bag! If you know you can't stand being corrected Mr/Mrs ITK (I TOO KNOW), please remain single. Ladies check your domestic (like Cooking, e.t.c) score card, if your score is 0, please stay in your parents house and learn!
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HOW TO AVOID HEARTACHE.

Hurt and pain can come in many different forms, but those that come from a broken heart seem to hurt us the most. There can be deep disappointment when relationships don’t work out. Is it possible to date and not get hurt? Certainly. Is there anything you can do to help prevent heartbreak? YES, there are lots of things that you can do to help. However, you are never excluded from heartbreak if you give your heart to someone. The deeper the relationship, the greater the potential for pain or joy. You can avoid some heartache by following these steps.

1) EXPECTATIONS: Expectation is the root of all HEARTACHES. Most of us have expectations for the people in our lives & It HURTS to feel let down by someone important to you. Having some expectations is a good thing but getting too caught up in expectations is setting yourself up for disappointment. To avoid disappointment and heartache in almost any situation, examine and adjust your expectations. Consider having zero expectations from nobody. [Read:EXPECTATION LEADS TO HEARTACHE]

2) DON'T PRETEND: If you hate smokers don’t date them. Many people do this all the time. A person they are interested in has a habit that they find annoying but they will look pass that for the sake of love. Don’t waste time trying to deal with something that you don’t want to. Sooner or later those things that you hate they will eventually kill your relationship. Don't pretend to like something you don't.

3) BE YOURSELF: Why do you have to pretend you like football or opera when you don’t. Be who you are. If you keep lying about who you are, the other person is actually in love with someone that really doesn't exist. Get to know you so you can enjoy you. If you are honest about who you are, the person you are with, is with you, not a fantasy. Keep it real. Learn to be happy with yourself. If a person doesn't like who you are, it’s no big deal. Why pretend to please them. Besides, who wants to be with a pretender? It's up to you to answer that.

4) IF IT FEELS WRONG THEN IT IS: This is self explanatory. But I will elaborate. If you think he or she acts a little odd or crazy, you may want to take into account your own judgement. Trust your instincts and don’t let the lust monster take over. Beauty is only skin deep. A handsome or pretty face is just as deceptive as one you would call unattractive.

5) HAVE YOUR OWN LIFE: Any time you don’t have your own life, you are likely to consume the life of another. This is important. If you had a life when you met them, keep it. You want to share your life with your mate, not engulf theirs. Women are notorious for becoming one literally in their relationships. Some women want to be a part of everything their husband or boyfriend does. Ladies, he has skin, he doesn't need another. Don’t lose yourself in your relationship. Because if you do, I promise he will lose you; but quick.
[Read: TO THE BROKEN-HEARTED]

6) LEAVE MARRIED FOLKS WITH THEIR SPOUSES: Messing around with married people is a sure Best way to get your heart broken. Married people rarely ever leave their spouses. If they do, what makes you think you won’t be cheated on? You play with fire when you mess with married people because they have too much to lose. Don’t be an interloper!
It's just common sense. Many of us don’t see the above things because we have allowed Love to blind us and we break every rule when it comes to relationships. Be happy and learn something new everyday, Because when we stop learning and loving, we stop living.
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