HOW TO ABSTAIN FROM SEX IN A RELATIONSHIP

In the Region i find my self today, SEX is the order of the day; for money or for the price of being in a Relationship (long or short term). In some societies, religions, or simply personal preference, people may choose to abstain from SEX until marriage.It is a matter of choice but most individual find it difficult to make and stick to the choice of ABSTINENCE.

If you want to stay SEX-FREE with your boyfriend or girlfriend, i suggest you follow these tips.

*Have a discussion about your views/reasons for abstinence.  Engage your partner in a good give and take discussion about your ideas concerning the timing for sex. Seek their input, but explain where you stand, so there will be no misunderstandings later.

*Be active together.  In your free time hike, bike, swim, walk, exercise, play sports, and so on. Get up and go out, working your muscles, to relieve pent-up tensions, visit friends, reading books or you can start writing.
 
*Spend time together in public places away from home. Do not study together at home, for instance, go to the library or school classroom where you can not do things in private.

*Do NON-SEXUAL activities. Do things together that are not necessarily sexual, like playing games (likes of cheese, scrabble or monopoly) or other activities such as giving each other massages (not romancing), shampoos, pedicures, and manicures.

*Be loving. SEX is not LOVE, so don't confuse SEX for Love. Without SEX, you can show your LOVE for your partner by kissing, holding hands, hugging, sitting close, cuddling, snuggling, and so on.

*Meet with other people. Have group meetings with like-minded people to reinforce your ideas concerning SEX, giving each other feedback and a chance to describe strategies to help you abstain.

*Give your partner positive feedback. Do not take him/her for granted. Compliment him/her on his/her looks, mental prowess, and skills with hobbies or sports, for example. Tell him how much you appreciate him being on the same page as you are as far as SEX goes.

*Remind your partner that abstinence is not forever, and there will come a time when you will have SEX. Talk with him about making plans for that time.

*Finally if you can't deal with any of the above tips, i advice you to AVOID any form of relationship with the opposite sex. "AVOIDANCE IS BETTER THAN PREVENTION". What you AVOID, you don't need to PREVENT it from happening. -->

2 TIPS TO SPOT MISS WRONG

This post is for my Male Folks cos i don't want them to feel or think that I'm bias, So i got this one for you guys.. To be honest there are more than 2 Tips to spot Miss. Wrong, please i advice you to use the Tips on my last post [Read: Ways To Spot Mr. Wrong] cos you can use the tips also to spot Miss. Wrong (Vice Versa).

If you are a man venturing into the dating world, here is a subject dear to your heart. How to steer clear of the woman who is likely to grab your life and shake it upside down by the ankles (In my Country Nigeria we call them Destiny Killers).

The sad fact is, most Miss. Wrong are unlikely to reform for your sake, and you deserve better than they are able to give. If these characteristics describe someone you are with, take the hint and pull the plug.

1. You Find Yourself Feeling Drained: The surest sign that you’re entangled with someone wrong for you is how you feel at the end of an evening together. This requires self-diagnosis, because your time together is never completely frustrating. But if you pay attention to your mind and body after being with her, you’ll notice which are the dominant feelings — energized and alive, or drained and a little depressed.

2. She Is Hypersensitive To Rejection: Miss. Wrong is always right and will react strongly to any suggestion otherwise or criticism. If you ask her to be more reliable, she says you should be more supportive of the demands on her time. Request that she respect your boundaries, and she accuses you of putting up walls to keep her out. Rarely will she say “I’m sorry” or “I will try to do better.”

Have You Experienced any of the above? 
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5 WAYS TO SPOT MR. WRONG

Some ladies are seeking Mr. Right when they should be searching for their life partner. There are sayings such as, “He wasn’t right for you” or “You’ll find the right one,” as if you are looking for the right pair of shoes to offset an outfit. Love doesn't hurt, Loving the Wrong person does.

You have to remind yourself, you are not looking for an accessory but an individual who is interested in developing a partnership. You will be disappointed when you seek someone who looks like the man in your daydreams or wears a suit like your father. Your mind tells you that he is the “right one,” so how do you know if he’s really the wrong one?

Using these guidelines will help in eliminating the guys that are definitely to be avoided if you are seeking a life partner. [READ: 2 TIPS TO SPOT MISS. WRONG]

1. Develop Your Intuition: There is this saying "Follow your Heart, but don't forget to use your Brain", but this can lead you into trouble. You have mental pictures about how your man should look and act. If you meet a man who reflects your mental pictures, then you automatically think he is “right” for you. If you have an uncomfortable feeling in your gut about someone who looks and acts perfect, then you need to pay attention. Your intuition is speaking to you about this individual and you need to honor it.

2. Pay Attention to His Behavior: As women, you love to hear men compliment your looks and achievements, but if his behavior is inconsistent then you need to reconsider your choice. If he says all the right things — yet cancels several dates at the last minute because he has something else to do, you need to move on. You should not make excuses for his behavior.

3. Avoids Uncomfortable Conversations: If he avoids conversations about your concerns in a relationship, such as money or commitment,  then you need to check in with your intuition.

4. Self-Centered: This is an easy way to spot Mr. Wrong. If you are at a gathering and you meet a man who looks perfect, but is talking about himself – then cuts you off when you try to interject a comment – he may not be someone with whom you want to get involved. Maybe you go on one date to confirm this!

5. Mama’s Boy (or the Immature Guy): This is the most difficult to spot because you often find it charming if a man is devoted to his mother. “If he is that considerate to his mother, then that’s how he’ll treat me,” you think. In some cases, that is not how he will treat you. His mother will come first and her approval is of primary importance, especially the approval of the woman in his life. And, in the end, we will also try to please her. 

Have you experienced any of the above red flags? -->

HOW TO OVERCOME HEARTBREAK

 I dedicate this post to a Heartbroken Facebook friend and all the Heartbroken readers out there.

Heartbreak hurts, and there's no denying it. Everyone will find a different way to get over it, but we all find being dumped or losing a loved one very hard. Easier for some people, but harder for others.

Below are 8 Steps to Overcome or get over Heartbreak.

1. Don't be embarrassed to cry. You've been hurt - expect the tears to keep coming. There are few people who can get over heartbreak without shedding tears, so let the tears flow. If you bottle up your feelings, you'll only end up making yourself feel worse later. Let everything loose and don't hold anything back.

2. Take your mind off. Find something to help take your mind off your heartbreak for a while, the feeling will pass with time. Engaging yourself in activities you enjoy will help you relax.

3. Talk to your friends and family. That's what they're there for! A good friend you trust will be a good person to talk to. A parent or sibling may also be a good choice.

4. Focus on moving on. Focus for a while on your career and family. If you help someone else out, you'll feel good, and have a chance to take your mind off the pain. Good times are a great way to help you get over heartbreak. Keep on going with your day and focus on your work. [Read:HOW TO AVOID HEARTACHE.]

5. Keep it in perspective! Think about the positive things in your life, and what you have left. Think about what you can do with your future, and don't let your loss destroy the rest of your life too. Letting the feeling overcome you will lead you down a road that isn't too pleasant.

6. Rebuild your life. Get engrossed in new things, and try not to look back on the past. The more you move forward, the less it will hurt. Keep yourself occupied, so you don't have time to be upset. Keep moving forward. [READ: EXPECTATION LEADS TO HEARTACHE]

7. Talk to a professional. You may need to see a psychologist or other such professional person if your grief is really destroying your life. A professional will care and will know how to help you. They can almost certainly offer further and better advice, encourage and motivate you in the right direction.

8. Accept it. You might never quite be happy about the event that caused your heartbreak, and you might always shed tears thinking about it, but eventually you will find that you can live without it getting in the way. Just remember that every relationship is a learning experience, and every learning experience will positively effect your future. Time heals all wounds, so they say, but I say "Time doesn't heal anything.. it just teaches us how to live with the pain" especially in the case of heartbreak.

With the above steps you are on your way back to being yourself.

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85 FACTS ABOUT GUYS

 There are so many Facts about us (Guys) which about 80% of us do exhibit. I made a List of 85 Facts which after reading you may come across few that your Man (If you are in a relationship) or your friend has been showing off.

1. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

2. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!

3. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why?

4. When a guy says he can’t sleep if he doesn’t hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.

5. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

6. Girls are allowed to touch boys’ things. Not their hair!

7. If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you.

8. Guys hate girls who overreact.

9. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

10. Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

11. Guys hate flirts.

12. A guy can like you for a minute, and they forget you afterwards.

13. When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.

14. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

15. Guys want to tell you many things but they can’t. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!

16. Guys cry!!!

17. Don’t provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

18. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

19. When you touch a guy’s heart, there’ s no turning back.

20. Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what? Uh… never mind!” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

21. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.

22. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

23. “Are you doing something?” or “Have you eaten already?” are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

24. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

25. When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad characters.

26. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.

27. Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention.

28. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

29. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

30. Guys virtually brag about anything.

31. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

32. Guys fantasies are unlimited.

33. Girls height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight does!

34. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!

35. It’s not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they’ve been together for 3 years or more.

36. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.

37. When a guy makes a prolonged “umm” or makes any excuses when you’re asking him to do you a favor, he’s actually saying that he doesn’t like you and he can’t lay down the card for you.

38. When a girl says “no”, a guy hears it as “try again tomorrow.”

39. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

40. Guys love their moms.

41. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn’t mean that the guy likes her.

42. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

43. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

44. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too good, never been busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t get matured and grow up.

45. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.

46. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

47. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.

48. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he’s sweating. You’ll probably see that he is nervous.

49. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

50. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me”

51. Guys don’t really have final decisions.

52. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

53. Like Eve, girls are guys weaknesses.

54. Guys are very open about themselves.

55. No guy is bad when he is courting

56. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

57. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they’re not that much pretty.

58. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

59. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.

60. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

61. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

62. A guy’s friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.

63. Don’t be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.

64. Don’t be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you’ll be surprised.

65. Guys are more talkative than girls and especially when the topic is about girls.

66. Guys don’t comprehend the statement “Get lost” too well.

67. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.

68. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.

69. Guys don’t care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

70. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.

71. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

72. Guys believe that there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

73. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

74. Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.

75. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.

76. A guy would waste his time over video games the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

77. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.

78. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

79. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they’ll realize they’re wrong.

80. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He’s just too stubborn to deal with it.

81. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but already thinking of a way out.

82. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.

83. When a guy looks at you, either he’s amazed or he’s criticizing you.

84. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

85. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you’re with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does. [Read:SIGNS HE'S NOT JUST INTO YOU]

You can add yours to the List by leaving a comment.
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